Throwing up in your sleep on a girl in bed; do I still have a chance in dating her

[Omar 382]

Long story short, I drank a shit-ton of Tito's and smoked two joints last night and then brought a girl back to my room. At around 3 in the morning, I vaguely remember her waking me up saying that I vomited on her as she left angrily and disgusted.

I woke up this morning thinking that that was a dream, until I saw my sheets were literally covered with pieces of a pepperoni calzone (yes, Big Z Pizza, I am holding you accountable and will review you on Yelp accordingly).

I can't text her because I must have lost my phone at my friend's dorm (if/when I hopefully find it, I will take a picture of my sheets). I have known her since high school, though we've talked very little ever since she is a grade above me. Still, she was in one of my classes last fall, and she is pretty cool.

Usually, I figure I can get by with my average lay game. But average lay game + literally vomiting on her = ?

Help me out.

 

[Cedrique]

Long story short, I drank a shit-ton of Tito's and smoked two joints last night and then brought a girl back to my room. At around 3 in the morning, I vaguely remember her waking me up saying that I vomited on her as she left angrily and disgusted.

I woke up this morning thinking that that was a dream, until I saw my sheets were literally covered with pieces of a pepperoni calzone (yes, Big Z Pizza, I am holding you accountable and will review you on Yelp accordingly).

I can't text her because I must have lost my phone at my friend's dorm (if/when I hopefully find it, I will take a picture of my sheets). I have known her since high school, though we've talked very little ever since she is a grade above me. Still, she was in one of my classes last fall, and she is pretty cool.

Usually, I figure I can get by with my average lay game. But average lay game + literally vomiting on her = ?

Help me out.

I doubt you can recover from this. It is a very traumatic thing to be vomited on. Maybe if you offer to pay for her dry cleaning, but even then........

 

[Red_Chaos]

you lost her bud, cant trust a guy who can't manage his booze or in this case smoking habits

 

[Omar 382]

I doubt you can recover from this. It is a very traumatic thing to be vomited on. Maybe if you offer to pay for her dry cleaning, but even then........

Sadly, I think you are right.

I am now actively pursuing and assembling a lawyering team in regards to litigation against Tito's.

 

[Cedrique]

Sadly, I think you are right.

I am now actively pursuing and assembling a lawyering team in regards to litigation against Tito's.

Tito's or Big Z?

 

[Cedrique]

screw it, sue everybody

 

[Omar 382]

Tito's or Big Z?

Well, it was originally going to be against Tito's, but now that you mention Big Z, that's not a bad idea at all....

I am thinking double trial against both franchises resulting in a punitive damage awarding well north of 50 million dollars.

 

[Omar 382]

screw it, sue everybody

I like your attitude.

Say, under the right circumstances, have you/would you potentially threaten a witness so that they withhold incriminating testimony?

 

[Cedrique]

I like your attitude.

Say, under the right circumstances, have you/would you potentially threaten a witness so that they withhold incriminating testimony?

I prefer "persuade" to threaten

 

[Cedrique]

Well, it was originally going to be against Tito's, but now that you mention Big Z, that's not a bad idea at all....

I am thinking double trial against both franchises resulting in a punitive damage awarding well north of 50 million dollars.

And don't forget, when you are walking around with that 800 grand (the other 49.2 Mil. went to the lawyers) and that chick suddenly shows renewed interest in her just blow her off. With that kind of loot you can hire a prostitute that looks exactly likes you and is probably less hung up on the occasional drunken puking spell.

 

[Omar 382]

I prefer "persuade" to threaten

Sir, you may be receiving an anonymous donation of approximately 50 grand towards your illustrious "The Cedrique Foundation" in the near future.

Now, if anyone else is reading this, just ignore the spoiler part. It is strictly me sending a picture of my dick to Cedrique, and he should be the only one to read it.

Spoiler: Don't read unless Ced

The pothead who took my order at Big Z's explicitly warned me that eating a whole large calzone could induce vomit. Maybe he takes a little "sailing trip" on the Delaware River before the trial begins.

 

[Cedrique]

Sir, you may be receiving an anonymous donation of approximately 50 grand towards your illustrious "The Cedrique Foundation" in the near future.

Now, if anyone else is reading this, just ignore the spoiler part. It is strictly me sending a picture of my dick to Cedrique, and he should be the only one to read it.

Spoiler: Don't read unless Ced

The pothead who took my order at Big Z's explicitly warned me that eating a whole large calzone could induce vomit. Maybe he takes a little "sailing trip" on the Delaware River before the trial begins.

I can't open that or I may end up vomiting on my keyboard

 

[Cedrique]

But on a totally unrelated note I do have a boat on the Delaware with a few cinder blocks in it....

 

[broncosmitty]

GHB>Titos

 

[Cedrique]

Wait, what happened to the picture of the sheets? I haven''t been to Big Z in a while but I heard they have been using a different kind of pepperoni and I wanted to verify this.

 

[Omar 382]

Wait, what happened to the picture of the sheets? I haven''t been to Big Z in a while but I heard they have been using a different kind of pepperoni and I wanted to verify this.

My phone got completely cracked from that night. My sheets are cleaned now, but there is still remnants on the wall. You can't really see it well, and it's hard to take pictures on a laptop, but here goes

Also, RIP my phone

 

[Cedrique]

My phone got completely cracked from that night. My sheets are cleaned now, but there is still remnants on the wall. You can't really see it well, and it's hard to take pictures on a laptop, but here goes
View attachment 166182
Also, RIP my phone
View attachment 166183

Well it doesn't give me the information I was looking for regarding the pepperoni but I get the feeling that at some point these pictures will make an appearance in a dank church basement as part of some sort of 12 step program.......