I am slowly dying

[Omar 382]

My dentist officially scheduled my gum graft for this October. I have about half a millimeter left of gum; you're supposed to have around 4 or 5 millimeters your whole life. The doctor said that if I don't quit using dip, he gives me three years maximum before I develop mouth cancer. My left gum is already yellow. I also have a huge bump on my throat, right around where I put my lip in. I'm not sure what it is, but I've had it for like 6 months. I will not receive treatment or surgery for cancer, were I to develop it. If you think I'm going to walk around with my face half removed, then you're crazy.

I'm not quitting dip. I can't, and I tried. I was told back in April by a girl I asked to get dinner with that she would go if I would quit. I was successful for a little bit, but only because I smoked a pack a day, which is even worse for your oral health. She never did get dinner with me, and I just went back to dipping. If I can't quit for a girl I really liked, I certainly won't quit for life.

I have tried nicotine gum. It's ok, but I always end up using it in conjunction with dip. It's not just the nicotine, it's the fact that I have to feel that there is something in between my teeth and my gum. It's an oral fixation as much as it is a nicotine addiction.

Maybe the doctor is wrong, or I miraculously quit. So what? Though I've lost 14 pounds in 4 months, I'm still 6'1 and 254. I'm 20- I will develop heart disease by the time I'm 50. But's let say I escape that, I could live to 80. Again, so what? The Earth has been around something like 4.6 billion years. What is 80 years to 4.6 billion years? Nothing. What is 4.6 billion years to eternity? Nothing.

Maybe this thread sounds melodramatic; I haven't been diagnosed with mouth cancer yet. But I do believe I will develop it, and even if I don't; aren't we all slowly dying? We act like 80 years is some amazing and lengthy period of time, but really, it's fucking nothing. We're all going to die one day. It's time we stopped pretending. I have, and am somewhat relieved. Life fucking blows. Life is a joke. So, I will make these affirmations:

I accept my impending mortality; whether now or in 60 years.

I accept that I do not know the exact date or time of my death.

I accept that life is inherently meaningless.

I accept that my existence has largely been meaningless.

I accept that I am not a good person.

I accept that I do not know whether God exists.

I accept that I do not know whether I will go to heaven or hell, were such concepts to exist.

I accept that I do not know if I will see anyone I have known in this life ever again after I die.

I accept. I don't agree with or understand the reasoning. But I accept.

 

[Zooky]

Pick your first fight. If you don't want to tackle nicotine dip, then continue to get after the weight issue.
Fruits, Veggies, more water.

 

[Omar 382]

Pick your first fight. If you don't want to tackle nicotine dip, then continue to get after the weight issue.
Fruits, Veggies, more water.

No offense dude, but the only thing on your list that could help one lose weight is eating vegetables. Fruit has a ton of sugar, and while fructose is safer than sucrose or glucose, it still leads to heart disease. There is no evidence to suggest that drinking more water or 8 glasses of water a day protects against any disease.

Weight loss is largely calories in/calories out. I know what it takes, I just have quite a bit of trouble executing it.

But thanks for the well wishes.

 

[Zooky]

No offense dude, but the only thing on your list that could help one lose weight is eating vegetables. Fruit has a ton of sugar, and while fructose is safer than sucrose or glucose, it still leads to heart disease. There is no evidence to suggest that drinking more water or 8 glasses of water a day protects against any disease.

Weight loss is largely calories in/calories out. I know what it takes, I just have quite a bit of trouble executing it.

But thanks for the well wishes.

You are putting up road blocks before you even start.
Drink a ton of water, with Fruits and Vegetables and you will eat and drink less crap.

 

[Omar 382]

You are putting up road blocks before you even start.
Drink a ton of water, with Fruits and Vegetables and you will eat and drink less crap.

I wouldn't define knowledge of what may help you lose or gain weight as a "road block." If you want to lose weight, drinking water wouldn't do anything, and eating a lot of fruit may make you gain weight. I understand that it's conventional wisdom, but it was conventional wisdom that smoking was good for you was present in the 1920s. And I'm not trying to pick an argument; I appreciate you taking an interest in my well-being and health, though that wasn't really the topic of the thread. But if you wanted to help others, or yourself, or just for general information; then I would think it'd be in your best interest to be informed to the best of your knowledge on the subject.

 

[Zooky]

I wouldn't define knowledge of what may help you lose or gain weight as a "road block." If you want to lose weight, drinking water wouldn't do anything, and eating a lot of fruit may make you gain weight. I understand that it's conventional wisdom, but it was conventional wisdom that smoking was good for you was present in the 1920s. And I'm not trying to pick an argument; I appreciate you taking an interest in my well-being and health, though that wasn't really the topic of the thread. But if you wanted to help others, or yourself, or just for general information; then I would think it'd be in your best interest to be informed to the best of your knowledge on the subject.

You actually sound sincere here(and I commend you for this). Which is amazing, because what you just wrote is the biggest pile of shit I have read in a long time. You don't need to calibrate your goals, you need an overhaul of them. Best wishes to you. Honestly.

 

[Omar 382]

You actually sound sincere here(and I commend you for this). Which is amazing, because what you just wrote is the biggest pile of shit I have read in a long time. You don't need to calibrate your goals, you need an overhaul of them. Best wishes to you. Honestly.

Not being sarcastic- what makes it a pile of shit? You mentioned I was being sincere in my last post; do you believe that I was insincere with my OP?

 

[Zooky]

Not being sarcastic- what makes it a pile of shit? You mentioned I was being sincere in my last post; do you believe that I was insincere with my OP?

Not at all. I have met people in your situation or similar. They were not stupid, and you certainly are not.
They convince themselves of every reason to not do what is inconvenient. They find whatever supports any reason not to move forward. Sure you can find someone who disagrees with drinking water or eating fruit.
It doesn't make it right. It is wrong.

I was offering you an idea of a way to start. Since the big monster you wish not to tackle is dip.
Take on another fight.

 

[Omar 382]

Not at all. I have met people in your situation or similar. They were not stupid, and you certainly are not.
They convince themselves of every reason to not do what is inconvenient. They find whatever supports any reason not to move forward. Sure you can find someone who disagrees with drinking water or eating fruit.
It doesn't make it right. It is wrong.

I was offering you an idea of a way to start. Since the big monster you wish not to tackle is dip.
Take on another fight.

Again, I appreciate the advice, I just don't believe it to be accurate. If you had said I should eat lean meats, cut out most beef and pork products, quit drinking soda/booze, and cut out almost all sugar, I would agree wholeheartedly. I'm not saying I would do it, but I'd agree that it would help me or nearly anyone lose weight.

I get what you're saying about people who give every excuse to not do something that would better themselves. Sometimes those very people are the ones asking for advice. That can be annoying, albeit understandable.

I am not asking for advice. I was just stating how frivolous and stupid life is. I have been a champion of the mountain that points to there being either no known risk between oral cancer and dip, or very little known risk ("The annual mortality rate among long-term dry snuff users is 12 deaths per 100,000 and the rate among users of more popular snus, moist snuff and chewing tobacco is much lower." https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/02/120219135553.htm)

Then Thursday, I was told I could be among those 12 out of 100,000 people. Then I realized I really don't give a shit because I don't like this thing called life. I'm no talking about suicidal ideation a or anything; I just don't really enjoy it. Yet I put on a happy face and go about my day as if I'm everyone else who seemingly do actually enjoy life (unless they too feel an emptiness).

This thread was made to acknowledge and then accept that we are not in control of hardly anything, and then to laugh at life. If you feel differently, then I am happy for you.

 

[Zooky]

Again, I appreciate the advice, I just don't believe it to be accurate. If you had said I should eat lean meats, cut out most beef and pork products, quit drinking soda/booze, and cut out almost all sugar, I would agree wholeheartedly. I'm not saying I would do it, but I'd agree that it would help me or nearly anyone lose weight.

I get what you're saying about people who give every excuse to not do something that would better themselves. Sometimes those very people are the ones asking for advice. That can be annoying, albeit understandable.

I am not asking for advice. I was just stating how frivolous and stupid life is. I have been a champion of the mountain that points to there being either no known risk between oral cancer and dip, or very little known risk ("The annual mortality rate among long-term dry snuff users is 12 deaths per 100,000 and the rate among users of more popular snus, moist snuff and chewing tobacco is much lower." https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/02/120219135553.htm)

Then Thursday, I was told I could be among those 12 out of 100,000 people. Then I realized I really don't give a shit because I don't like this thing called life. I'm no talking about suicidal ideation a or anything; I just don't really enjoy it. Yet I put on a happy face and go about my day as if I'm everyone else who seemingly do actually enjoy life (unless they too feel an emptiness).

This thread was made to acknowledge and then accept that we are not in control of hardly anything, and then to laugh at life. If you feel differently, then I am happy for you.

It is possible to change your outlook on life. Sometimes it takes an indirect route. Each person is different.
Just curious how Tony Gwynn's death affected you. Since he was a strong user of Chewing tobacco.

 

[moxie]

Should've put this on the Giants board. They're doing worse than the Padres.

 

[Omar 382]

It is possible to change your outlook on life. Sometimes it takes an indirect route. Each person is different.
Just curious how Tony Gwynn's death affected you. Since he was a strong user of Chewing tobacco.

I didn't give a shit. I don't like Tony Gwynn or any player that didn't play for the Phillies. I will say that doctors were not able to determine if FIP caused his cancer, though he said so many times.

Oh, you're thinking I'm a Padres fan or something. Hell no. Some cocksucker on the Phillies board banned me from there because I bullshitted one of his posts. So now I post here with one other dude about the Phillies; though I haven't posted on here much lately.

 

[Omar 382]

Should've put this on the Giants board. They're doing worse than the Padres.

Maybe.

 

[Zooky]

I didn't give a shit. I don't like Tony Gwynn or any player that didn't play for the Phillies. I will say that doctors were not able to determine if FIP caused his cancer, though he said so many times.

Oh, you're thinking I'm a Padres fan or something. Hell no. Some covksucker on the Phillies board banned me from there because I bullshitted one of his posts. So now I post here with one other dude about the Phillies; though I haven't posted on here much lately.

My bad. I did not look to see that you were a Phillies fan.

 

[Omar 382]

My bad. I did not look to see that you were a Phillies fan.

All good, brother.

 

[RP-29]

So you may be visiting those assisted living shut-ins I recommended a little sooner than expected, then?

And that recent talk about chew is way better for you than smokes was a little... premature?

 

[BTHOtu]

This week I'm officially 4 years smoke free. I've had no tobacco products of any kind since

 

[Omar 382]

So you may be visiting those assisted living shut-ins I recommended a little sooner than expected, then?

And that recent talk about chew is way better for you than smokes was a little... premature?

You really live that Christian lifestyle your religion speaks of.

That was sarcasm by the way. At least, this post is not indicative of the way Christ would speak or live. I do not claim to be perfect either, but then again, I don't try to govern the world through the pulpit.

 

[Omar 382]

So you may be visiting those assisted living shut-ins I recommended a little sooner than expected, then?

And that recent talk about chew is way better for you than smokes was a little... premature?

And no, it wasn't "premature," it's a fact based on all current medical and statistical knowledge.

Statisticians would call me an "outlier." Similar to how, if you lived the Christian lifestyle being a Christian; which you don't, you would be an outlier.

 

[RP-29]

You really live that Christian lifestyle your religion speaks of.

That was sarcasm by the way. At least, this post is not indicative of the way Christ would speak or live. I do not claim to be perfect either, but then again, I don't try to govern the world through the pulpit.

Just because I'm Christian doesn't mean I can't talk a little smack and joke around every once in a while.

In all honesty, you're a mess. You have no idea who you are or what you want out of life and every time someone on here tries to get serious and help you, you reject everything they say. It's gotten to the point where either you start accepting advice or ... well ... survival of the fittest/natural selection.

My perception is that you are in a dead-end situation in your life. You need to hit a reset button. Maybe that means packing up and moving to a completely different part of the country and leaving all of your demons behind. Start a new life.