Trolling the Telemarketers

MAIZEandBLUE09 · Feb 6, 2018

I go with just saying yes to everything until they hang up on me. Say nothing other than yes.

RP-29 · Feb 6, 2018

All of my received telemarketing are auto-dialers with voice activation now and they usually call while I'm at work. I just hang up. But back in the day I liked to mess with humans.

One of my favorites for a while was letting them go through their big intro while I queued up some 2 Live Crew... "Hold on a minute" then set the phone next to the speakers. The song I picked depended on approximate age and gender...

Young woman: "Me So Horny"
Older woman: "Dirty Nursery Rhymes"
Young man: "Dick Almighty"
Older man: "Fuck Shop"

One time a I got through the entire "Dick Almighty" and the dude was still on the line. ...A 2 Live Crew fan with a sense of humor. We had a nice little chat after the song ended.

BamaDude · Feb 6, 2018

Next time, just say, "Excuse me, but do you think it's possible to contract syphilis by gang-banging a watermelon?"

Innermind · Feb 6, 2018

[QUOTE="Roy Munson, post: 11235665, member: 11544"

them: "Hello, I'm so and so from whatever, I'm looking for Tim Munson"

me: "hey, you're in luck, he's here, let me go get him"

Then I put the phone on mute and set it down.

If I'm in a mood to be an asshole I'll fuck with them some more, but usually I just wait until they hang up.[/QUOTE]

I normally don't answer unknown numbers, but when I do answer, I tend to do the same thing, even if they are asking for me.

Me: "hold on, let me get him"

On a couple occasions, I returned to the phone, and started to speak gibberish which sounds like a hybrid of Russian and Klingon.

Worf-star-trek-the-next-generation-37411804-398-500.jpg

jjc2009 · Feb 6, 2018

Roy Munson said:
My brother apparently has shitty credit.

So I get calls that start with.

them: "Hello, I'm so and so from whatever, I'm looking for Tim Munson"

me: "hey, you're in luck, he's here, let me go get him"

Then I put the phone on mute and set it down.

If I'm in a mood to be an asshole I'll fuck with them some more, but usually I just wait until they hang up.

Holy shit. Your name really is Roy Munson?!!

Used 2 B Hu · Feb 6, 2018

tabascojet said:
i had some assholes call me constantly trying to get in touch with my deadbeat next door neighbor years ago. "dont you know your neighbor?" "cant you give them a message to call us?" and then started talking shit to me like i was the one who owed them money. unbelievable.

GoldRusher said:
Had one do the same thing to me for a family member. I told em I would, and that my fee was $40 per minute from the time I leave my house to do their job and I had to drive to TN from WV to tell him.... click, never called back.

Had some calls like that a while back. Evidently, an ex-GF of mine had bought a computer (or something expensive) and used my name as some kind of reference. I never really understood how that worked... She never finished paying for it, and then they tracked me down and started calling me relentlessly. Simply could not convince them that I had no current relationship with this wench, didn't know where she lived, and couldn't answer for why she had used me as a reference.

I finally got one guy to understand this logic: "look, she's not a trustworthy individual, she didn't pay for the merch...you think she would give you a LEGIT reference, to someone who could track her down for you? She deliberately used someone NOT close to her, so you wouldn't be able to find her."

olympicoscar · Feb 6, 2018

Tomhusker said:
Anybody else do this? I keep getting calls from some "Resort" selling me a great vacation for great price. I usually play them for a long as I can just to fuck up their talk time. I've twice taken them all the way through their up sale, taking every option offered. I go get my credit card and start reading the number to them, only to hang up before the last digit.
I've committed suicide while talking to them. I've killed babies. Tortured animals. All with the help of sound affects.

Today, I tried something different.

Telemarketer : Hi, this is Rebecca, who am I speaking with?
Me: Hi Rebecca, what are you wearing?
Rabecca: What does that have to do with this?
Me: I'm Masturbating and am trying to build a picture of you.
Me: Rebecca?

She apparently was not interested in talking me through a self administered handy.

I do the same thing. Sometimes I pretend that I called them and try and sell them something. I have asked the women what color panties their wearing. Only 1 ever answered.

Lately I've been getting calls for extended warranties on my Honda. I tell em that I have coverage through 2019 and I'm not paying for anything in advance. But, but, they say, what will happen in 2019. I'm selling the car I tell them, don't need any extended warranty. If I don't sell it, I plan to drive it off a small cliff and total it to collect the insurance.

Rolltide94 · Feb 6, 2018

4down20 said:
I never answer them.

These days they all seem to use local numbers so that you'll think it's not a telemarketer. Well the thing is my work pays for my phone and I've had the same phone number for 15 years even though I don't live in that area anymore. Anyone I know from that area shows up and they are already programmed in there, so any time I see the 408 area code, I know it's a telemarketer.

Same with me, I have a Jacksonville FL cell number since 2001...left in 2007. Any call I get from there is either family or selling me something....I don't answer either, lol.

BTHOtu · Feb 6, 2018

I used to try and be polite and say “no thanks” then after a while I would get kind of rude. “Well, I don’t want what the fuck you got to sell so that ends this conversation. Have a nice day.” Now I just don’t answer or hang up on them.

DT LUNA · Feb 6, 2018

When I get a call and they ask for me: I'm sorry. This is the ambulance driver and he is no longer with us. Can I take a message? CLICK

Innermind · Feb 6, 2018

Used 2 B Hu said:
Had some calls like that a while back. Evidently, an ex-GF of mine had bought a computer (or something expensive) and used my name as some kind of reference. I never really understood how that worked... She never finished paying for it, and then they tracked me down and started calling me relentlessly. Simply could not convince them that I had no current relationship with this wench, didn't know where she lived, and couldn't answer for why she had used me as a reference.

I finally got one guy to understand this logic: "look, she's not a trustworthy individual, she didn't pay for the merch...you think she would give you a LEGIT reference, to someone who could track her down for you? She deliberately used someone NOT close to her, so you wouldn't be able to find her."

Maybe she went incognito.

Trolling the Telemarketers

MAIZEandBLUE09

Well-Known, and Feared, Member

RP-29

xⁿ

BamaDude

Well-Known Member

Innermind

Lithomancer

jjc2009

I Member

Used 2 B Hu

Baredevil

olympicoscar

Life is what you've made of it.

Rolltide94

Well-Known Member

BTHOtu

Well-Known Member

DT LUNA

Vietnam Veteran

Innermind

Lithomancer

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