Horror Movies

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Well? Let's see it!

LOL

It came down to either a pic of Manziel shirtless on spring break, or him in the Scooby Doo costume. Or the one with him, Bieber & Floyd Mayweather lol

 

[Johnnydollaz89]

J.J Abrams kept this in secret and it's out in 2 months!!!!




I can't f&cking wait!!!

 

[jakedog56]

Watched "Dead Rising: Watchtower" the other day. Not bad for a video game based zpocalpyse flick.

*Positives:
-Decent budget allowed for pretty good production values.
-Lots of zombies. Some pretty cool ones. I never played the game but I am assuming that the killer clown, the cop, etc. are from the game.
-Some cool killings/maulings FXs, zombie and human. The slice-n-dice was done at a high level.
-Cinematography is good. One cool long continuous shoot hack slaying some Z's, running through a bus, climbing out the top, jumping and running to a gate is a highlight.

*Middle:
-Acting is meh. Not bad, not good.
-Direction is hitting on the action, but missing on the storyline/plot details (more on that below).

*Negatives:
-The physics and weapons are over the top and unrealistic (even more than usual Hollywood), but it is a video game based movie so this is to be expected.
-Story is all over the place. They don't seem to know what kind of movie they want to make. The newscasters are comic relief (Rob Riggle in particular), the bad guy who comes into play more and more as the movie goes on is a poor man's Road Warrior bad guy clone, and the main characters are stuck in a more serious duel plotline regarding government conspiracy and survival.

A must see for zombie fans and fans of this particular game. For general horror fans it is worth it for the gore. But the average non-horror fan will find it muddled and a bit ridiculous (maybe more than a bit?)

 

[jakedog56]

Being a fan of Evil Dead/Braindead style comedy/horror and also a purveyor of Heavy Metal genres, I have been anxiously awaiting the New Zealand splatterflick "Deathgasm".




I am going to review this one in the style of one of my heros, Drive-in Movie Critic extraordinaire, and general god among men, Joe Bob Briggs!

Jason Lei Howden is an up-n-coming horror director who has been working as an FXs guy for the last 6 years on a crapload of big money Hollywood mumbojumbo like The Avengers, The Hobbit series mismashes, Ridely Scott's Prometheus, and The Great Gatsby. So his body of work does not seem to lend to Horror (despite Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter on his resume) but he decided to go down to the hometown and hire a buncha redneck Zealanders to hackslay their way through bloodspewing demon hoardes on a budget of a couple of thousand dollars and create an instant cult classic splatterfest!

Basically, this grungy looking metal kid named Brodie who looks like he hasn't had a bath in a few years is tossed over to stay with his religious zealot uncle after his mom goes crazy on meth and is locked away in the nuthouse. To make things worse, his sadistic cousin regularly beats him like a government mule both at school and home. So he befriends a couple of D&D geeks, starts scrawling down metal sketch artwork, and gets itchy to get into his cousin's girlfriend's panties (she says her name is Medina. Have you ever met a Medina before? I don't believe her!) and do the sign of the two-humped camel.
One day he hooks up with Zakk while looking over Cannibal Corpse albums at the local record store and decide to form a deathmetal band with the two D&D geeks. Zakk is the alpha male of this little band of misfits and after throwing around abuncha standardly disgusting deathmetal bandnames he puts his foot down and tells the others that they are DEATHGASM (in all caps because small letters are for pussies!).

Things meander along for awhile. Brodie and the boys play metal, Brodie gets abused by his cuz, teachers are mean to Brodie because they are facist adults, Brodie's tongue drags on the ground while staring at Medina's hooters.

Soon enough, Zakk and Brodie break into a derelict looking house that belongs to former metal legend Ricky Daggers. There, they find Ricky laying in a pile of his own feces in a dark room looking like a male version of Courtney Love on a two week bender (he isn't zactly pretty). There is some yelling and eventually Ricky gives them an album and chases them out before a hitman arrives to give his arteries some fresh air. In the album the boys find some old music scrawled onto what looks like a used diner napkin. Of course they decide it will make a great DEATHGASM song. You can guess what happens from there.

'Nuff said about the plot: Let the metal mayham and bloody carnage commence!

Drive in movie totals:
*Demon-o-rama!
*4 breasts (nice tatas!)
*Lots of bleeding eye sockets
*Gratuitous headbanging
*Lots o' dead bodies. (I didn't keep an exact count. Let's say somewhere close to 100 if you include the posessed folks.) A pile of 'em!
*Nomination for best use of a power grinder
*Black dildo and anal-bead fu! (Don't ask.)
*127.5 gallons of blood.
*Heads roll
*Demon schlong weedwacking
*Intestines spillout
*Lots o' blood vomiting
*Satanists with swords chanting
*Chainsaw hands (ala Evil Dead)
*Gratuitous black metal makeup

Drive-in Academy Award nominations for:
*Milo Cawthrone as the sensitive deathmetal guy Brodie who chops off his cousin's head and says "No, he was possessed",
*James Blake as the general all around stereotypical metal jerkoff for betraying everyone a couple of times but eventually comes back in full black metal gear to hackslay demons with his chainsaw hands
*Danny Cresswell as D&D geek Giles for suggesting "Zombie Unicorn" as a band name and telling Brodie "Your alignments just don't mix. He's Chaotic Evil and you're Lawful Good"
*Delaney Tabron as the Satanist defacto leader for displaying an excellent set of breastiges before getting gutted
.......and last but not least.......
*director Jason Lei Howden for doing it the Drive-In way (and apparently getting ready to make Deathgasm 2)!

3.5 outta 4 stars. Jakedog sez check it out!!

 

[Chef99]

I used to love Joe Bob Briggs, what is he doing these days?

 

[jakedog56]

I used to love Joe Bob Briggs, what is he doing these days?

Not much. Releasing a few special edition DVDs, a bit of writing, doing the horror convention circuit, guest appearances, etc.

Gotta love Joe Bob. He is the reason I enjoy B-movie horror flicks.

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Damn I've been slackin' lately! Took the wife to see The Forest over the weekend. Pretty decent movie but thought it could/would have been better. I'll post a review when I get around to it. Sifted through another pile of cinematic crud too. More later...

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

J.J Abrams kept this in secret and it's out in 2 months!!!!

View attachment 77279


I can't f&cking wait!!!

Pretty excited for this. I'm not going to be overly ecstatic though because Abrams has been ridiculously busy lately, and seeing how there has been almost zero publicity up until now... I'm assuming that the budget is fairly low and the movie isn't going to be anything spectacular. Sorry if that dampers anyone's excitement lol. I'd still like to dive into some research on it to see if this was a side project or something that got shelved for a while? Judging by the bunker setting, it looks like the filming with the actors would only take a few days so it could easily be one of those mass cgi/fx movies that need to be put into production for a while. This one could have been put into motion long ago.

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Being a fan of Evil Dead/Braindead style comedy/horror and also a purveyor of Heavy Metal genres, I have been anxiously awaiting the New Zealand splatterflick "Deathgasm".

View attachment 79175


I am going to review this one in the style of one of my heros, Drive-in Movie Critic extraordinaire, and general god among men, Joe Bob Briggs!

Jason Lei Howden is an up-n-coming horror director who has been working as an FXs guy for the last 6 years on a crapload of big money Hollywood mumbojumbo like The Avengers, The Hobbit series mismashes, Ridely Scott's Prometheus, and The Great Gatsby. So his body of work does not seem to lend to Horror (despite Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter on his resume) but he decided to go down to the hometown and hire a buncha redneck Zealanders to hackslay their way through bloodspewing demon hoardes on a budget of a couple of thousand dollars and create an instant cult classic splatterfest!

Basically, this grungy looking metal kid named Brodie who looks like he hasn't had a bath in a few years is tossed over to stay with his religious zealot uncle after his mom goes crazy on meth and is locked away in the nuthouse. To make things worse, his sadistic cousin regularly beats him like a government mule both at school and home. So he befriends a couple of D&D geeks, starts scrawling down metal sketch artwork, and gets itchy to get into his cousin's girlfriend's panties (she says her name is Medina. Have you ever met a Medina before? I don't believe her!) and do the sign of the two-humped camel.
One day he hooks up with Zakk while looking over Cannibal Corpse albums at the local record store and decide to form a deathmetal band with the two D&D geeks. Zakk is the alpha male of this little band of misfits and after throwing around abuncha standardly disgusting deathmetal bandnames he puts his foot down and tells the others that they are DEATHGASM (in all caps because small letters are for pussies!).

Things meander along for awhile. Brodie and the boys play metal, Brodie gets abused by his cuz, teachers are mean to Brodie because they are facist adults, Brodie's tongue drags on the ground while staring at Medina's hooters.

Soon enough, Zakk and Brodie break into a derelict looking house that belongs to former metal legend Ricky Daggers. There, they find Ricky laying in a pile of his own feces in a dark room looking like a male version of Courtney Love on a two week bender (he isn't zactly pretty). There is some yelling and eventually Ricky gives them an album and chases them out before a hitman arrives to give his arteries some fresh air. In the album the boys find some old music scrawled onto what looks like a used diner napkin. Of course they decide it will make a great DEATHGASM song. You can guess what happens from there.

'Nuff said about the plot: Let the metal mayham and bloody carnage commence!

Drive in movie totals:
*Demon-o-rama!
*4 breasts (nice tatas!)
*Lots of bleeding eye sockets
*Gratuitous headbanging
*Lots o' dead bodies. (I didn't keep an exact count. Let's say somewhere close to 100 if you include the posessed folks.) A pile of 'em!
*Nomination for best use of a power grinder
*Black dildo and anal-bead fu! (Don't ask.)
*127.5 gallons of blood.
*Heads roll
*Demon schlong weedwacking
*Intestines spillout
*Lots o' blood vomiting
*Satanists with swords chanting
*Chainsaw hands (ala Evil Dead)
*Gratuitous black metal makeup

Drive-in Academy Award nominations for:
*Milo Cawthrone as the sensitive deathmetal guy Brodie who chops off his cousin's head and says "No, he was possessed",
*James Blake as the general all around stereotypical metal jerkoff for betraying everyone a couple of times but eventually comes back in full black metal gear to hackslay demons with his chainsaw hands
*Danny Cresswell as D&D geek Giles for suggesting "Zombie Unicorn" as a band name and telling Brodie "Your alignments just don't mix. He's Chaotic Evil and you're Lawful Good"
*Delaney Tabron as the Satanist defacto leader for displaying an excellent set of breastiges before getting gutted
.......and last but not least.......
*director Jason Lei Howden for doing it the Drive-In way (and apparently getting ready to make Deathgasm 2)!

3.5 outta 4 stars. Jakedog sez check it out!!

Great writeup Jakedog!
Don't believe I recall seeing any "demon schlong weedwacking" before.

I believe I remember you talking about this one once before. Looks like an interesting premise! Is this movie already out?

 

[jakedog56]

Great writeup Jakedog!
Don't believe I recall seeing any "demon schlong weedwacking" before.

I believe I remember you talking about this one once before. Looks like an interesting premise! Is this movie already out?

Just channeling my inner Joe Bob! Go read some of his reviews on his website if you get a chance. You remember Monstervision?

Deathgasm came out on dvd last week. I probably overrated it a bit (the story was a bit weak) because I was reviewing it Drive In style and it is perfect Drive In fair.

 

[BeaReylo]

The last recent flicks I caught:
Mockingbird 4-10
The Babadook 9-10
VHS 2 8-10, mainly for the first segment and the suicide cult story.

 

[SDGuy73]

And where does it rate on the BoobMeter?

This is important for all horror movies. Every horror flick should have some senseless nude/sex seen. I grew up on the icons of horror movies. Michael Myers, Freddy, Jason, Leather Face & Pinhead.

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

The Forest (2016)


Not exactly the movie I had hoped for but an overall decent horror flick. The cinematography was great. The way they used the forest to supplement each scene really added a good horror ambiance. The acting was really good as well. Natalie Dormer did an excellent job handling dual roles (she played twin sisters). Her acting paired up nicely with the setting and added a good "unsettling" vibe, as well as elevating subpar performances from supporting roles. What lost me was somewhere in the writing. They did a good job keeping up the suspense throughout, but the climax sort of falls flat somehow. Not to mention you are left with a few questions that bugged me. I also didn't care much for all the jump scares in the beginning of the movie. The progression of the story built the suspense alone, so the jump scares were unnecessary. I'm probably being overcritical of it so don't knock it til you watch it. Maybe I'll like it better the next time. One thing worth rementioning is this is Jason Zada's first full-length movie that he has directed. IMO it's an excellent building block for his career. I'll look forward to seeing more of his work in the future.

Good movie, but hoped for more. 7/10

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

The Boy (2016)


Haven't gone to the movies on a Sat night in a long time, and it didn't take long for me to remember why. Theater was full of loudmouthed kids screaming and talking throughout the movie. I'll have to remember to avoid doing that again.

This movie was excellent. Lauren Cohan didn't disappoint! She proved that she is more than capable of handling a wide range of acting roles. All the actors were great. And the director William B Bell kept up his great reputation! He continues to prove that there is still originality to be found amongst the clutter of horror movies being released. Yes the doll-villain/supernatural movies have been done before, but you'll be more than happy to agree with the claims of originality after you watch this movie. This movie is like Chuckie meets Annabelle, meets Halloween or possibly even Texas Chainsaw Massacre considering the 'family secret'. Judging from the trailer I was half expecting this film to contain jump scare after jump scare, but it didn't have nearly as many as I thought. The horror & suspense was delivered without it! The doll itself was enough to give everyone the creeps. There isn't much blood or gore so that might upset some, but it's still a great movie. There is one hell of a twist thrown into the climax that really made this movie IMO. The setting & attention to detail is almost Guillermo-Del-Toro-esque. I would highly recommend seeing this movie! The only problem I had was a question I was left with after watching the movie. Would love to discuss it with someone if they ever get around to seeing it.

Creepy, suspenseful & disturbing... 8.5/10

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

The Last Survivors (2014)


Originally titled "The Well". This was a pretty intriguing movie. Instead of the usual z-apocalypse, this movie centers around a futuristic wasteland where climate shifts have turned the world into a desert wasteland. Basically like Mad Max, but without the Mad lol. A struggle to survive by lack of water. It is a pretty slow movie, but it was well made. It doesn't throw the usual hollywood thrill ride at you, but rather focuses on the struggle for survival itself. They do throw in a group of antagonists to make the movie more entertaining, and even delivers on the blood & gore. It definitely has that indie/low-budget look & feel to it, but I enjoyed it! Worthwhile entertainment to say the least. Didn't care much for a few of the actors, but that's to be expected from lower budget films.

This movie made me thirsty... 7/10

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

The Lodge (2008)


Not exactly a thrilling or suspenseful film but it had its moments. The overall stupidity of the victims got to me, as it usually does. I'll save you the time by telling you that the movie is exactly what the trailer shows you lol. Not much else to explain. Two victims terrorized by a psychopath at a lodge. From the start you know exactly how everything is going to play out. Then as soon as you get to the thrill ride you have to struggle through a couple awkward gross scenes before you just start hating on the victims and hoping for their demise. This movie doesn't really offer anything so I wouldn't recommend it. The acting was pretty poor.

Generic & average... 5/10

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

House of Fears (2007)


This movie was one of those Decent Plot vs. Poor Acting movies but also written poorly. I liked some of the ideas and suspense behind the supernatural occurrences, but the acting by the victims really brought the movie down. It has all of the usual teenage horror cliches with very little scare factor. The premise sounds like a good movie, however overplayed it has been, but the story seemed to be written by a child. I'll put it this way, this movie was maybe 1 step above Goosebumps on the scare factor. Not worth the time and only mildly entertaining. Felt like one of those awful horror flicks that I used to take dates to back in junior high when I had zero intentions of actually watching the movie lol.

Teenage horror cliches everywhere... 3/10

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Unrest (2006)


Went into this movie expecting a gorefest, seeing that the movie case put quite the emphasis on "real corpses" in the movie, but it turned out to be more of a thriller movie. Doubt there was any truth to that, but it sure looked like it! The anatomy/lab scenes are brutally realistic looking! How realistic it looked really lingered with me and made me feel disturbed, of which twistedly enough I liked lol. I really liked how this movie slowly built tension with lots of creepiness & a great score. It wasn't overly suspenseful, but its premise was interesting and captivating. The movie had some flaws & holes, and lacked some needed background to build the plot. But that still didn't bother me too much. It also seemed to ignore character development so you had zero connection to the protagonist & her friends. But in a way that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It focused more on the suspense & supernatural. Definitely not your well-rounded great horror, but it was very entertaining!

Entertaining supernatural thriller! 7/10

 

[Johnnydollaz89]

The Boy (2016)


Haven't gone to the movies on a Sat night in a long time, and it didn't take long for me to remember why. Theater was full of loudmouthed kids screaming and talking throughout the movie. I'll have to remember to avoid doing that again.

This movie was excellent. Lauren Cohan didn't disappoint! She proved that she is more than capable of handling a wide range of acting roles. All the actors were great. And the director William B Bell kept up his great reputation! He continues to prove that there is still originality to be found amongst the clutter of horror movies being released. Yes the doll-villain/supernatural movies have been done before, but you'll be more than happy to agree with the claims of originality after you watch this movie. This movie is like Chuckie meets Annabelle, meets Halloween or possibly even Texas Chainsaw Massacre considering the 'family secret'. Judging from the trailer I was half expecting this film to contain jump scare after jump scare, but it didn't have nearly as many as I thought. The horror & suspense was delivered without it! The doll itself was enough to give everyone the creeps. There isn't much blood or gore so that might upset some, but it's still a great movie. There is one hell of a twist thrown into the climax that really made this movie IMO. The setting & attention to detail is almost Guillermo-Del-Toro-esque. I would highly recommend seeing this movie! The only problem I had was a question I was left with after watching the movie. Would love to discuss it with someone if they ever get around to seeing it.

Creepy, suspenseful & disturbing... 8.5/10

Wow, now I really need to see this! I wasn't intrigued by it at all, honestly. But, your review is awesome!

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Trace (2015)


Wife & I decided to get hulu for a trial month... This was the first horror movie we watched on there because it was in there "popular" section. Yikes! Unoriginal, lackluster, and bad acting all around. I'm hoping this is only on the popular section because horror fans were starved for films and this was a recent release. This movie brought nothing new to the table. It was sort of like Ouija meets Final Destination. There wasn't much suspense, or excitement, however it seemed like the story wasn't badly written. It at least kept me slightly interested throughout. It had a low budget, so the cgi was garb. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this one, but if you are starved for new material then why not, right?

Lackluster... 5/10